You’re not the problem, my friend. I promise.
You’ve just been trying to do something unbelievably hard—without the clarity or tools you've needed. You're not doing it wrong, you just missed a step— which is where Pre-Boundaries comes in.
Get Started Now →
You’ve tried everything, but no matter what you do it's still a complete disaster.
-
You try to speak calmly.
-
You explain yourself clearly.
-
You beg and appeal to their love for you.
-
You set boundaries as gently as you can.
And yet somehow—it still explodes.
They twist your words. Call you selfish. Cry. Rage. Or give you the ever-punishing silent treatment...
I need you to know
You’re not the problem. You’re a cycle breaker.
And you’ve been trying to do something unbelievably hard—without the clarity or tools you needed.
That’s what Pre-Boundaries: The Step That Comes First is here to change.
Sign Up Now
What is Pre-Boundaries?
It’s the course you take when you realize: “I need to understand what I’m actually dealing with before I can set a single boundary that sticks.” This isn’t boundary-setting 101. This is the foundational work no one ever talks about—but it changes everything.
Get Started NowThis Course is Where
You'll Finally Learn...
One
Why nothing you say or do ever seems to be “enough” for your parent
They’re not looking for understanding—they’re looking for control. Your boundaries feel like betrayal, your independence feels like rejection, and your needs feel like threats. You could say it perfectly and still get punished. This isn’t about your delivery-it's about something else completely.
Two
How traits of borderline and narcissistic personality disorder show up in your family dynamic
In your family love may often come with strings attached. Emotional volatility, gaslighting, guilt trips, silent treatment, and rage may have been normalized. This course will help you untangle these dysfunctional patterns so you can see them more clearly.
Three
What you’re really up against—and how to emotionally prepare yourself to do something different
You’re not just setting a boundary—you’re disrupting a lifelong power dynamic. That’s why it feels terrifying. This course helps you identify what your parent can’t give you so you can invest your energy towards things that are actually within your control.
A Little About Me
Hi, I'm Torie—a therapist, coach, mom, and cycle breaker who grew up with a mom I suspect had narcissistic personality disorder (and a lot of BPD traits). I know firsthand how confusing, painful, and isolating it feels to set boundaries with someone who doesn't respect them- especially when that person is your parent.
I've devoted my career to helping other adult children of BPD/NPD parents untangle the guilt and finally start protecting their peace—and I’d love to help you do the same.
Get Started NowWhat people are saying about Torie...
“Sometimes I feel like no one understands my situation …
and most information available is about romantic relationships. Thank you Torie for filling in the gap!”
“Someone who finally GETS IT!!!
Torie gets it. I finally feel seen/heard/validated and then appropriately guided going through life with a parent who can frequently be quite a struggle to deal with. I’m SO excited to learn more from her.”
“Life changing...
Torie is incredible. This podcast has changed my life and I feel so not alone and not crazy !!! Amazing advice and feels like I’m in a therapy session without having to talk, and sometimes that’s more helpful and calming.”
What's Included
On-Demand
Video Lessons
I'll walk you through the aspects of borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder that you need to know in order to confidently set boundaries with your parent.
Downloadable
Workbook
Guided note taking followed by worksheets that walk you through applying the video lessons to your actual relationship with your parent prepare you to confidently move forward.
Downloadable
Bonus Guide
You'll receive a free copy of my guide, 10 Mistakes You're Making That Will Sabotage Your Boundaries with Your BPD or NPD Parent, included with the course for even more support!
Trying to decide if Pre-Boundaries is for you?
This course is for you if...
-
You’re constantly second-guessing yourself and wondering if you’re the problem
-
You suspect your parent might have borderline or narcissistic traits but aren’t 100% sure
- You feel emotionally exhausted trying to make the relationship “work”
This course is not for you if...
-
You’re looking for a quick fix or a script to change your parent’s behavior
-
You’re not quite ready to consider that your parent’s behavior may be emotionally harmful
- You’re not open (yet) to exploring the possibility of your parent having borderline or narcissistic personality disorder
Get Started Now
